well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
