Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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