What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
