I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
