i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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