i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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