We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My balls are so social today.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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