Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
