I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm at about main and main street
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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