his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
