I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
