Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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