i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
