Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
