So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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