like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he fucked my hip out of place.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
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On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Couch. On fire.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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