He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
