Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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