he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
