Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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