Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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