I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
