Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
