Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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