If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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