Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
my liver is dry heaving
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