Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
