i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
