D3 body, D1 cock
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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