im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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