It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
