me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
