In the future we'll all be gay
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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