omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Someone came in the potted fern
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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