Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
