oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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