STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
