the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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