Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
