Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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