turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
