i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
