So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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