if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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