I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
