I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
