Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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