she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
