And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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