his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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