this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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