I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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