Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.