so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage