Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice