i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
