so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
What a dumb baby whore.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
