the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
