We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
