The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
