Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oh god it's open bar.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
