Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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