so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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