You're completely useless in the revolution.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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