it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
