I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
