would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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