Fuck appropriateness.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
