you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
